Feeling okay about feeling “bad” is healthy
Whether we’re scrolling through social media or around our circle of friends, we’re often taught to feel good all the time. From our work to our health, it always seems to be about constantly having a positive attitude, and this can be draining. It turns out it’s okay to feel “bad”. Here’s why.
Feeling bad feels good
Not accepting any state of emotions is just as bad, so don’t deny how you feel. Reacting to negative feelings can be damaging, but so is ignoring the emotion. It’s not so much about changing from low to high, but accepting the feeling and staying in touch with what’s going on in your mind.
Think of it as taking things for what they are. Accept the negative state instead of
Just because some people cannot control their emotions, does not mean that every person is forced to change their
Positive concepts view health as a state of well-being as an individual might feel well even if they have a disease. When asked how they feel they might express that they 'feel great today' even if they are suffering from a serious illness.
Sometimes, when one is hurt emotionally, recovering from the pain may be difficult, “Your hands will always be too small to catch all the pain you want to heal.” (15). This indicated that one will have to deal with the pain or push through it because it can be difficult to heal it all at once. As well, when the negativity becomes extreme, overcoming and not caring about what others think is very important, “When they slip war and hatred under your door…” (58). One must believe in themself and appreciate the beauty of who they are to get over the rude things that others are saying. Furthermore, having a small mindspace and not thinking about the positive rather than the negative can lead to one being weak and
Ben-Shahar speaks correctly while discussing how individuals must give themselves permission to experience negative feelings before they reach the point where they can completely experience the positive feelings. Therefore, positive feelings are inadvertently blocked by negative feelings. Dr. Mathieu (2011) from Psychology Today, discusses how “providing so many positive solutions can inadvertently blame people for their suffering” (para. 3). Henceforth, whenever people see articles on being happy and social media posts where everyone has their happiest face on, they do not accept the it is okay to have negative feelings as well. Ben-Shahar discusses how many people feel inferior while experiencing negative feelings, but in reality every person except the dead and psychopathic experience the same feelings. Counseling Directory (2016) identifies that “we are continually setting ourselves up to fail” (para. 5). Furthermore, acting as part of the human race means that individuals are imperfect. Striving to reach perfection is the beginning of failure because of the impossibility forever block the
It is not mentally not looking at circumstances with eyes that see only what you want to see”. In other words using Positive Self-Talk shows us the truth on real situations. For example: you were trying out for the school volleyball team and you messed up on bumping the ball, when the negative thoughts occur that is when the positive self talk will take place “ok I’m now going to focus on what I need to complete in order to make it on the team.” There is a way in which you can develop a positive self talk habit, there are 3 steps and the first one is “Mantra”, choose a mantra and find a positive self talk for example; “I feel strong”. This positive self talk will encourage you to feel motivated. The second step is “Practice Multiple Scenarios”after using the positive self talk from step one, repeat the line so you can practice having it sink in your brain. It will help you during real situations in sports a example for this step is “Anything can happen, and I’m definitely not out of this, Don’t let up”. Finally, the last step called “Creating A Positive Mental Image Or Visualization” this technique can help you create a visual picture on what you are doing and saying This powerful combination will create a positive message.
Work with, up lift, and grow with the people around you to build a better now so that you may delete negative
Another negative thought(s) I find myself having often is not being good enough. This is something that I usually find myself thinking a lot about after an altercation or disagreement with someone. There have been a few instances in my life when I’m put in a position where someone I care for picks someone else over me, this being both emotional and not. I have found that this is thought I have a lot in my personal relationships and many times I have this thought after a small incident or argument. I think this is tendency I have a lot, to think negatively about myself, when small problems occur.
There are those who want to become a doctor to keep others healthy and those who want to become a counsellor to also, keep others healthy. This shows that trying to simplify the term ‘health’ into one universal definition could be a difficult task. Physical health that can be tested through x-rays and blood tests, issues such as mental and social health however cannot be tested. A person who is suffering from depression and a person who has a fever should hold the same level of importance to a doctor, parent and society. Health just like people can come in all different shapes and sizes. Health for everyone is not the same. This is shown in different teachings of different disciplines as well. The author defines health as being mentally and physically content with one’s self.
“Beyond Happiness: The Upside of Feeling Down” article by Matthew Hutson explains that negative emotions often have a pessimistic stigma. Normally when one addresses fear, anger, guilt, and regret, a positive outlook is not the first thing that comes to mind. Because these emotions are mostly negative, people try to not act on them or conceal them when trouble arises; however, acting on these emotions can bring a positive feeling. Hutson sheds light on why anger, shame, envy, fear, and grief should not be looked at as “negative” emotions all the time, rather they should just be looked at as emotions.
See, we are born negative, I think, in a negative consciousness because we live in a negative world. Begin to guard your mind against negative programming. Like turn off the television, don’t watch the news, see that more people are sense of hopelessness and anxiety about life. People don’t feel good, which is seen by great in iconic idols such as Nelson Mandela, or Chris Gardner who had nearly a ‘one-year’ struggle with homelessness, he had became a multi-millionaire from being a stockbroker. These are amazing people who guard themselves against a negative consciousness, which sets them apart from the average to inspire millions of people in the pursuit of happiness and liberty.
Negative feelings can get in the way of progress, and it is important to concentrate on what you want to achieve and to make the most of the support that is on offer.
I always take a negative situation and try seeing the positive in it. For example, if I am walking on the street and see an advertisement for healthier foods and the main attention is on a very thin model, usually I start thinking I should pay attention to what I eat so I can look at that model I instead tell myself that I am so blessed to have a healthy body and to have to two legs to walk me everywhere I please to. Simple reminders like this go a long way.
Years ago I read a passage in a book by: “Louise L. Hay” she said; every morning you can get up and look in the mirror and decide what kind of day you are going to have.” The beauty of it is, you can get up the following morning and decide all over again. This is a powerful statement, letting us know we have the power to control our feelings and shape our outlook on life. If you are telling yourself positive things, it will help you build a positive self-esteem.
WITH A POSITIVE ATTITUDE WE EXPERIENCE PLEASANT AND HAPPY FEELINGS. THIS BRINGS BRIGHTNESS TO THE EYES, MORE ENERGY, AND HAPPINESS. OUR WHOLE BEING BROADCASTS GOOD
So, when a problem or negative feeling/event occurs in your life follow the pattern: Can you control it? If not, stop thinking about it and if yes, focus on the solution.