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Ymca Monologue

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If anyone asked me—and they most certainly did not ask me—I never wanted to work at the YMCA. I wanted to get out of this shit-hole town, like everyone else. Pack up my car and head out to Cali. I'd get a job as a waiter and go on auditions during the day. Who knows? Maybe I'd be an actor. I just knew that my part-time job teaching karate to half-retarded kids wasn't exactly my idea of the life. Oh, and also I answered the phone and checked people in at the desk. While sitting behind said desk one afternoon, the phone rang. "YMCA, Jason speaking, how may I help you?" I always tried to sound professional. "I'm calling about your advertisement in the newspaper... for the swim instructor." I nearly shit my pants. I knew that voice the way …show more content…

Who is this?" I asked, but I knew I had Mr. Football himself on the line. "The name's Joshua Kidwell. I'm calling about the position you have advertised." I hated him for the same reason he hated me—we each reminded the other of what we were. There were misdeeds along the way that fanned the flames. The time he slammed my head against the wall in sixth grade and blacked my eyes. The time he and his buddies held me down and peed on me in the boy's restroom. The time he pantsed me in front of the whole cafeteria. The time he kicked me in the balls so hard I puked all over shop class. The countless trips and body checks. Every day he looked at me with that sneer as if I were the dog shit clinging to his shoe. Just listening to his stupid voice on the phone made my blood boil. A Level 1 Asshole Move would have been to tell him that the position had been filled, but I knew as I sat listening to his breath that it wasn't good enough. I had spent years daydreaming ways of getting back at him and I needed to humiliate him. I needed real tears. Real pain. I needed to climb up in his grill and fuck with his head in a way that would scar him for years. "And you have experience coaching swimming?” I asked. "Uh, yes, sir," he lied through his

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